


Can’t You Hear Me Knockin’?

by unrestrainedpassion



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Hera (Percy Jackson) Bashing, Jason can cook, M/M, Percy's smart as hell, Young Love, fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestrainedpassion/pseuds/unrestrainedpassion
Summary: Jason's kinda in a slump. Ever since Piper left him, he's been moving through life like he's in a daze. But then Frank and Hazel's wedding comes up, and he gets so drunk at the bachelor party that he makes the biggest, stupidest mistake of his life - he marries Percy. Within a week, his life goes from lonely to ridiculous - and he's not sure he wants things to calm down again.Or, How Jason decides to adopt a kitten.





	1. The Mistake

##  oOo

_November 19, 2018_

Jason Grace, son of the King of the Gods, Pontifex Maximus, former Praetor of New Rome, decides that morning that body shots are _never_ a good idea.

No matter how many times Percy says they are.

His eyes feel glued shut, and he wonders if perhaps his head is no longer attached to his body. His mouth tastes like Leo’s armpits, and he knows he got pretty intimate with those last night. (Now if only he could remember why.)

Percy makes an odd squeaky noise on the California King bed next to him, and Jason grumbles in response.

“Dude,” Percy whines. “Let go of my hand. I’m trying to sleep, here.”

Jason is slow to respond, his thoughts floundering in a haze of booze. “Sorry,” he says, and he withdraws his hand. Something pinches his left hand, and he brings it close to his face for inspection. After an embarrassingly long time, his eyes focus on the source of his pain, and it takes him another ten seconds to connect the image with prior knowledge and reach a conclusion.

A golden band with “Thor” engraved in curling font shines in the excruciatingly bright morning light.

oOo

_November 18, 2018 - The Previous Night_

Hazel’s getting married in two days, Jason thinks, as he moodily nurses a beer in the hotel bar. She and Frank had chosen autumn to hold the ceremonies, presumably because Hades was always more companionable with his wife by his side. Jason hadn’t meant to suddenly become grump-city the day before the nuptials, but hey, what can you do, right?

It isn’t his fault Piper joined the Hunters of Artemis two months and three weeks ago _to the day_ , and it isn’t his fault he’s still not over her, and it _certainly_ isn’t his fault that seeing Frank and Hazel act all mushy and gooey and _ridiculously in love with each other_ isn’t doing any good to his wounded ego.

But it _will_ be his fault if he’s drunk before the bachelor party starts, and Percy will make sure he knows it. He pushes his beer away and lays his forehead on the cool granite bar, the thunk dulling his sharp-edged thoughts for a moment.

The seat beside him scoots out with a shriek, and someone sits down next to him.

“Jason Grace, why the hell are you drinking _already_?”

When he turns around, Thalia’s scowling at him.

“M’twenty-three. I do what I want,” he mumbles, eyebrows drawing together in a halfhearted glare.

Thalia orders an apple juice (the Hunters aren’t allowed to imbibe in front of men) and returns to scrutinizing him. She’s wearing ripped black jeans and a bright red sweatshirt that hangs to her mid-thigh, and--she’s still staring him! Jupiter’s third testicle, what does she _want_?

His expression must have been transparent, because her gaze softens. “It’s about Piper, isn’t it?”

“Wha--” his voice cracks, to his dismay, “Thalia, what?”

“She’s happy, you know. Not that she wasn’t happy with you. But I think your relationship… with her mother being who she is… put unnecessary pressure on her. Not that her mom isn’t trying to set her up with a hunter, because she is, and it’s _so_ weird--anyway, you need to go out and have a one night stand or something, seriously, because everyone’s worried about you--”

Jason holds up a hand and grins. “Thalia, I appreciate the thought, but I’ll be okay.”

“It’s been two months, and you’re still grouchy.”

“Well, _excuse me_ for grieving the end of a long term relationship, Thal!” he splutters, attempting to stand and discovering that his legs are more than a little unsteady. He slumps back in his chair.

Thalia tsks and reddens slightly. “You know what I mean. I know you feel terrible, okay? But refusing to talk to anyone about it and pretending like you’re fine when really you’re just masking your inner emotions with beer and watching three seasons of America’s Next Top Model consecutively for a week straight--and yes, I know you did that--” she sucks in a deep breath “-- is in no way healthy.”

Jason wrinkles his nose. “How did you know I did that?”

“You used my Netflix account!”

“No, I used _my_ Netflix--are _you_ using _my_ Netflix account?”

Thalia pauses. “Oh. That explains… well, that explains why I never got any bills.”

And then Jason is guffawing, and Thalia is guffawing along with him, and everything feels okay for a while.

 oOo

_November 18, 2018 - The Bachelor Party_

Jason, Nico, Leo, Percy, and Frank are standing in front of a brightly lit club, and everybody is absolutely positive Percy Jackson and Leo Valdez  are both dumber than barnacles; except Percy and Leo, of course, because they think this is a great idea.

What’s _this_ , you ask? Jason supposes it’s rather original, really, if only it made any sense.

“Why are we at a gay bar?” Frank asks, his nose wrinkled.

Percy’s high-beam grin falters. “For your bachelor party? Seriously, Hera? Again? Gods, if I--”

Thunder crashes, and--though there are no cows nearby--the gang hears an angry _moo_.

Frank gulps and glances at the sky. “Anyway, Percy, I meant why are we at a _gay_ bar, not why we’re out attempting to--what was it?”

Leo grins. “ _Paint the town!”_

Although Nico doesn’t say anything, he exudes sardonic displeasure, and Jason just wants to ruffle his hair.

Percy rolls his eyes. “Because I know the owner, Frank, _duh._ ”

“You… know the owner of a gay bar?” Jason asks, and he’s sorry to say he’s not entirely surprised.

“Yeah, he’s a son of Eros I found a year and a half ago. He’s too old for camp, so we just meet up and chat.”

“In his gay bar,” Nico deadpans. “A party place for homosexuals.”

Percy makes a face. “No one calls them that, Nico, seriously.”

“I can call them whatever I want to, you dick; I’m _gay._ ”

Jason decides to intervene before Nico’s ex-crush becomes Nico’s murder victim. “So, this is isn’t a thinly-veiled request for a threesome?”

Leo mimes barfing before replying, “Jesus, Zeus, and Priapus, _no._ Quit being weird and let’s go in, already. It’s fun! Men hit on you. Men buy you drinks. Men compliment the curve of your ass. It’s great for the ego.”  

“What if you don’t want people staring at your ass?” Frank asks, and his look of utter fear is hilarious.

“Well, then, you’ll know what it’s like to be a girl,” Nico quips at the same time Leo suggests starting a bar-fight. They glance at each other and snort in unison.

“ _O-_ kay,” Percy says. “Are we going in, or are we going in?”

“Fine.”

“ _Duh_.”

“Free alcohol!”

“I’ll regret this tomorrow morning, won’t I?” says Nico, arms crossing protectively over his narrow chest.

Jason thumps him on the back. “Probably.”

Percy smirks wickedly. “Hopefully.”

Frank whimpers. “I should have made Jason the best man.”

“Also probably,” laughs Jason.

oOo

“Why did I ever doubt you, Percy!” Frank shouts, a martini in both hands. “This is _awesome!_ ”

Percy clinks his drink against Frank’s and grins widely. “Right?”

They’ve only been here an hour and Leo’s already part of a grind train. (Percy says it’s a conga line, but Jason knows there’s too much moaning for that to be true.) Nico’s lying on a portion of the bar table, singing songs in Italian and attempting to drink a burly Scotsman under the table. (And.. succeeding? Jason can’t tell.) Frank hasn’t had to pay for a single drink; men from all sides are propositioning him. The shocking part is that he’s most definitely enjoying it, if Jason is interpreting the blush high on his cheeks correctly.

Percy staggers into Jason and throws an arm around him, joining Jason in observing Frank and Co. “This is ridiculous. I wanted free drinks, but all the hot guys are too busy wooing Mr. Perfect Booty over here.”

Jason raises his eyebrows. “Are you admitting your butt isn’t as great as Frank’s? Dionysus above, you really must be drunk off your smelly ass.”

“ _Shh!_ ” Percy hisses, smacking a hand over Jason’s mouth. “You think Mr. D would be thrilled we’re at a gay bar?”

“You’re 25; you think he cares?”

“Mr. D is always watching, Jason. _Always. Watching._ ”

“Okay, Percy--”

“ALWAYS. WATCHING.”

Jason shoves Percy off. “I got it! You’re yelling in my ear!”

Percy pouts and orders them two shots of vodka. “Fine. As apology, I humbly offer to drink you under the table.”

Jason knows it probably isn’t a good idea, so he opens his mouth to refuse. Unfortunately, he says something like “You’re on, Seaweed-Dick!” and joins Percy at the bar.

oOo

_November 19, 2018 - The Morning After_

“Percy-Percy-Percy- _Percy!_ ” Jason hisses, shaking the scrawny little punk viciously. “Wake the hell up, seriously!”

Percy’s sea-green eyes flash open and then Jason is on the floor, jaw throbbing painfully. “Oh, Jason, sorry! I thought you were--”

“Did you just sock me in the face?” Jason can taste blood, and he’s the opposite of thrilled. “I’ll have you for spousal abuse, you motherfu--”

Percy slaps him. “Jason, stop panicking.”

“Stop _panicking?_ ” He sucks in a breath and tries to slow his heart rate. When he glances up, he sees a smile flickering on Percy’s face and he punches the little shit in the gut.

When Percy’s done gasping for air, Jason yanks him up by the shirt collar and growls, “Whose idea was it to get married?”

Percy smacks his palms on Jason’s ears, and Jason’s world erupts in a swirl of pain and loud ringing.

Percy shouts, “I can’t remember, you shitfuck!” and Jason can barely hear it as a whisper. He marshals himself and launches a frontal assault, tackling Percy onto the bed and punching him once, twice--Percy’s on top now, and he’s throttling Jason--they’re on the floor, and Jason takes a kick to the ribs, and then his foot’s on Percy’s neck, arms yanking his right leg--and they’re standing once more, and then the door slams open and there’s a flash of motion and everything goes dark again.

When they wake up, they’re handcuffed to opposite sides of the room, each to a piece of furniture, and Jason has regained enough brainpower to conclude they’re in a hotel room. Nico’s sitting on the bed, Stygian iron blade by his side, and he looks _furious._

“You know,” he says drily. “I never thought I’d have to say this, but you two might need marriage counseling.”

The cheap brown dining table creaks when Percy yanks himself forward, swearing up a storm. “Please, let me kill him, I’ll be so happy, everyone will be happy, c’mon, Nico--”

Nico ignores him, but his hand moves closer to the hilt of his sword. “Your fathers are not pleased, obviously.”

“Gee, I wonder why?” Jason snaps before he can stop himself.

“You two are clearly far too powerful, immature, and childish to ever build a loving and constructive relationship with each other.”

“ _Hey--!_ ”

“Leo’s taken Frank home, in case you were thinking about someone other than yourselves and were wondering.”

“Fuck you, di Angelo, I swear to _god--_ ”

“I will _gag_ you, Jackson, if you don’t shut up!” Nico barks, swinging his sword to Percy. “You two are utter _clowns_ , you know that?”

“Look, Nico--” Jason starts, shame creeping into his voice.

“No, you _look_ : we all know this marriage was a mistake, but if you try to kill each other, we can’t annul the damn thing and pretend it never happened, can we? So you two are going to stop competing, stop teasing, stop posturing, and stop _brawling_ like dogs, _capisce_?”

“ _Capisce_ ,” Percy says, looking down.

“ _Capisce_ ,” echoes Jason.

“Maybe ‘ _capisce’_ will be your always,” Nico snarks, sweeping out of the room. “You’ll stay in here until Annabeth arrives.”

The threat of Annabeth Chase’s ire is enough to keep them compliant.

oOo

_November 19, 2018_

Annabeth decided three things: Jason is an idiot; Percy is an idiot; and they should wait to annul the marriage until after Frank and Hazel are married. Did she mention both Jason and Percy are idiots?

They’ve been released, told to apologize to one another, and sent to their respective lodging in New Rome. Nico also suggested they be forbidden to see each other and supervised for the full duration of the wedding, but Hazel had laughed nervously and reassured the assembled heroes that such drastic measures probably wouldn’t be necessary.

Jason’s aware the key word here is _probably_ , and is more than a little ashamed to admit he agrees. Percy’s… wonderful, and hilarious, but every time he says something even a little irritating Jason blows up. He knows it’s the same vice versa, but that doesn’t make it any less disconcerting for two friends to be sharing cotton candy one minute and trying to push one another off a Ferris Wheel the next. (Yes, that did happen…)

He’s sure it’s their lineage making their relationship so turbulent, but _still_ . Jason is part human first and part god second. If he can’t control his Roman side around one of his best friends, what’s next? Polygamy? Blasting people into ash? Slicing and dicing his father? And he really does want to apologize sincerely, but it physically _pains_ him to be the better man and admit he was wrong. Not unless Percy does it first.

So he figures it’s best they don’t see each other until they get a divorce. (Whoever thought he’d say that?)

Jason leans heavily against his balcony railing and sighs. The pleasant California sun sinks into the skyline, orange and gold splashing the tops of buildings in New Rome. Seagulls and terns coast in the air currents above his terracotta roof; the apartment building is just enough inland that the smell of the sea exists as a half-thought, an impression. He’s missed his little flat; it’s spacious and clean and comfortable, nothing like the Argo II or that horrendous, fateful hotel room in Vegas. He’s got his Keurig, his lightning-bolt bedspread, and his freakin’ awesome lava lamp here, and that makes it home. Since Piper… since the breakup, it’s been a little quiet, and he’s considering adopting a kitten.

If he’s honest, early retirement suits him.

Leisure to read, leisure to scroll through Pinterest, leisure to go to college, to become something other than Jason, Child Of Wolves, Hero Of Olympus, et cetera… It’s lovely.

He’s so blissed out by the simple, sedate joy of being home that he doesn’t notice the sound of seagulls muffling around him and the shadows in the corner darkening into the shape of Nico di Angelo.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize--” Nico starts, blushing and turning away.

Jason faces him after recovering from his surprise, and immediately frowns. “What did I tell you about apologizing for, like, existing?”

Nico reddens further. “I’m not--you’re in your underwear, that’s why I’m--I’ll go.”

With a start, Jason realizes he is indeed wearing his Lightning McQueen boxers ( _stop laughing!_ ) and absolutely nothing else. “Wait! It’s cool. I’ll go put on pants.”

“And a shirt,” Nico adds when Jason slides open the door to his home.

“Of course, your Virgin Highness,” he mockingly replies, and gestures vaguely to his pale blue couch. “Pop a squat; I’ll be out soon.”

When he returns, Nico’s flipping through his favorite omnibus edition of Captain America, a smile brushing his thin lips.

“The similarities between you and Steve Rogers are amusing yet uncanny,” he remarks, noting the page number before setting the book on Jason’s teak coffee table. (Hey, being ex-Praetor and Savior of the World may not get you privacy, but it does get you priority pricing on _everything_.)

“I’ve always felt a much deeper connection with Peggy Carter.” Jason flops onto the sofa next to Nico, making sure to keep a respectable distance between them. If he’s not careful, Nico will scare like a fawn and shadow travel out of the country before Jason can sing (off-key), _You’ve got a friend in me._

Nico raises a thick black eyebrow and scrutinizes him through his fringe. “Have you.”

“Yeah, she’s kickass, and she has a hot boyfriend that, in my humble opinion, basically just gazes approvingly at her kickassery.”

Nico huffs out a laugh. “You are the weirdest, gayest straight guy I know.”

Jason barely conceals a wince and pulls a throw pillow over himself.

There’s that eyebrow raise again. “Or, y’know, not straight.” It feels like Nico is teasing but Jason finds it hard to ignore that unintentional jab at a recent sore spot.

Jason contemplates the incredible soft feel of his throw pillow--a housewarming gift from Thalia--and pointedly refuses to answer.

“Real nice of you to get on my case about _emotional feeling-y talking_ and refuse to talk about your own deep dark desires.”

Seriously, Jason thinks, is this cashmere? Or, uh, what’s it called? Alpaca wool?

“Jason.”

“Hm?”

“You wanna talk about something?” Nico prompts, prodding Jason with his toe.

“Nope.”

“ _Jason_.” This time, Nico’s toe is more insistent.

“You never told me why you came,” Jason mentions, hurriedly trying to change the subject.

“I came to have a ‘heart to heart’ with you, which isn’t happening unless you open up to me. It’s unfair to demand I speak to you about my, uh, issues, when you refuse to talk to anyone at all.”

Jason opens his mouth to retort, and nothing comes out.

“Yes, I do have a point, thank you.” Nico falls silent then, clearly waiting for Jason’s soliloquy.

He’s this close to collecting fiber samples to analyze the damned throw pillow when Nico sweeps off the couch and growls, “Fine. Be that way,” and storms toward the door.

Jason stops him. He doesn’t know why, but he does. “Nico, wait.”

The manipulative little jerk smirks and practically tosses his body back on the couch. “I’m waiting.”

“I just… I’ve never considered the concept of other guys, like…. _repulsive_. But I had Piper, and I thought we were happy, and then she--”

Nico nods encouragingly, and Jason finds himself wondering how on earth that shy, angsty kid grew into a great listener and an even better friend.

“Well, it’s pathetic, but for a long time afterwards, I could barely look at girls without thinking of her.” Jason rearranges himself on the couch to lay down and tuck his feet under his companion’s butt, partly because his feet are cold and partly because he knows it annoys Nico. “So, I guess I just…”

“Looked at guys?”

Jason wordlessly agrees.

“That’s okay, you know.”

The pillow smacks Nico in the face, it’s not Jason’s fault, he swears. “Gee, really? Wonder who told you that?”

Nico kicks him, and _boy_ , does it hurt, but he still laughs, because it’s Nico.


	2. The Crescendo

 

_November 20, 2018 - The Reception_

There are a number of things at this wedding that make Jason extremely uncomfortable. Leo’s in a suit, and he hasn’t set anything on fire (yet). Percy’s behaving like a perfect gentlemen, and hasn’t eaten all the blueberry tartine things. Annabeth hasn’t hit Percy. Thalia hasn’t beaten anyone up. Nico looks absolutely thrilled to exist.

On top of it all, Jason’s tie is much too tight, and he doesn’t know how to loosen it. The humiliation of asking Nico to tie it for him was too much to bear, and Jason would rather be drawn and quartered before he asks him to untie the damn thing, too. Although, Nico had blushed rather fetchingly when his hands fumbled around at Jason’s throat, and--nope, not thinking about that.

They’re gathered in the immense ballroom of some five-star hotel for the reception--being the daughter of the god of wealth must have _some_ perks, after all--and the newlyweds are ready to dance and sing and humiliate their single friends for the rest of the night. Practically all of New Rome and Camp Half-Blood are in attendance; Hazel and Frank are the first demigods to marry since the Second Giant War, and no one wants to miss the festivities (or the free alcohol).

Including the Olympians, as it seemed. Leo and Nico had sent invitations to Olympus as a joke, never believing any gods would accept; but as Jason watches Poseidon and Bacchus tell a group of Romans some rib-busting, hilarious tale, he concludes that either the gods can’t comprehend bitter sarcasm or just really want to support Frank and Hazel. Hazel and Frank. Mr and Mrs Zhang. Ugh, this is _so_ weird.

Nico strolls over to Jason and attempts to give him a glass of wine. “Having fun?”

Jason eyes the proffered drink warily. “I don’t particularly want to drink tonight, Nico.”

Nico smirks and retracts the wine, taking a sip. “Afraid you’ll get married again?”

He can’t help the look of disgust on his features. “I--yeah.”

“That’s fine. More for me.”

Jason doesn’t want to talk about his own marriage, but Nico’s watching him with that half-smile and _what the hell is he supposed to do, really,_ when brown eyes as large as Nico’s are cataloguing his every expression? “I can’t wait to get it annulled.”

Nico nods. “Understandable. It’s a relief that the marriage annulment process is so simple in Nevada.”

“For obvious reasons,” Jason laughs lightly.

Nico tips his head in agreement and polishes off the wine. “Sure you won’t drink?”

“Yeah, pretty damn.” He observes the fuzzy warmth in Nico’s eyes and relaxed curve of his spine. “How much have you had?”

Nico shrugs. “I’m traditional Italian. We don’t measure how much we drink until we regret it the next morning.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea--”

“I do,” Nico whispers in his ear, breath sweet as sugar and tart as alcohol. Jason realizes that Nico’s leaning in to cup his jaw and pull him in for a kiss, and his knees feel like rubber, and _Orpheus and Eurydice,_ have Nico’s lips always been so pink?

Just before their lips meet, a shrieking bang echoes through the room, and a panicked satyr (definitely not Grover) knocks over the punch bowl. The purple liquid stains the back of the new arrival’s gown. It’s Hera, and she looks irritatingly saccharine, as always.

“Congratulations to the newly wedded couple!” she says, and everyone in the room hears her voice clear as a bell. The room stills as everyone stares warily at the temperamental goddess.

“But I wondered if anyone had congratulated the other newlyweds in attendance?”

A murmur swells through the crowd immediately, and Jason very nearly crawls under a table. Percy angles himself to stand in front of Annabeth, like he’s ready to use the spilled punch to drown Hera. Jason and Percy had requested no one be told about their… problem.

Nico squeezes his arm reassuringly and disappears into the shadows.

“No?” Hera asks, and by the smile on her haughty face Jason knows she’s enjoying this. “Such a tragedy. Percy, did you hear?”

The son of Poseidon stiffens immediately, anger hardening his bottle-green eyes.

“No one knows you’re married.”

The whispers crescendo, bystanders staring at the way Percy’s shielding Annabeth. For once, the girl looks shaken, like she’d just thought of something shocking before everyone else and is now waiting for the others to catch on.

“What about Jason? Have you not told anyone of your union with Percy?”

The murmurs stop abruptly. Thalia looks like she might draw her bow then and there. Jason knows he has to regain control over the situation before Hera ruins the Zhang-Levesque wedding ( _still_ so weird).

“We were married in Vegas when we were drunk, during Frank’s bachelor party,” he explains, speaking more to the wedding guests than to his tyrannical stepmother. “Leo planned the party, so, you know.”

The crowd titters nervously. Leo shouts, “Oh, sure, blame it all on the Hispanic guy!” and sets a bouquet of roses on fire.

Hera scowls. “So you do not plan to, ah, work through your troubles?” she asks sourly.

“The _trouble_ is that I’m married to the guy, so no,” growls Percy. “don’t really see myself going to couples counseling with him.”

“We’re going to celebrate this wedding, annul our marriage in a few days, and laugh at the memory in a few months,” Jason states firmly. “Stop meddling.”

“You think you can end a marriage without my approval?”  Hera snarls. “You think your continuing disrespect will convince me to allow it?”

“We’re hardly your biggest fans; you erased our memories!”

“Something you have in common, then!”

“I love someone else,” Percy says, clenching his fists. “I love Annabeth Chase.”

Annabeth knows it’s the wrong time to smile and blush prettily, but she does anyway.

Hera’s gaze latches onto her and her eyes soften unexpectedly. “That much is obvious--trust me, I can tell. But--” she whirls to face Jason. “ _he_ does not love someone else.”

“Since when did you get to do _my_ job, you wrinkly old prude?” Cupid snipes from the back of the room.

Hera’s eyes bulge in fury. “It’s decided: until Jason Grace can prove he’s better off with someone else, the marriage stays valid. You can annul it with your mortal government, but in the eyes of Olympus _you two are married_.”

Silence reigns in the ballroom, and then the doors bang open. Hades billows in, Nico at his heels. Both look dark and angry.

“Hera, I may give you more leeway than the other Olympians,” Hades booms. “but I will not tolerate this blatant disrespect. You will vacate the premises _right this second_ , or I will personally assure that you spend the rest of your very infinite lifetime in the Fields of Punishment.”

“Blatant disrespect? Why, I-- _do you know Jason Grace and Percy Jackson are refusing to stay married?_ ”

“Although I’m sure that’s news to you, _I’ve_ know about it long enough to decide that _my daughter’s wedding_ is infinitely more _important_ than your stupid power plays. Leave, and I won’t take my complaints to Zeus.”

“I’m right here,” Jupiter says, gazing distastefully at the unfolding scene, and Hera starts.

Waving his hands with an ‘off you go, then’ manner, Hades bares his teeth in a poor facsimile of a smile.

Hera sneers, snapping her fingers and disappearing, leaving a startled looking calf standing in a puddle of purple punch.

oOo

The reception is pretty much ruined for Jason after that, so he wanders the hallways of the hotel (which is in fact a Marriott, surprise surprise). Before long, he finds himself in another ballroom on the top floor, this one smaller and ending in a balcony.

Sue him, he’s got a thing for balconies.

The night sky is entrancingly beautiful when he steps into the cool air of the balcony; there’s not a cloud in sight, and the expanse of the universe is laid out before him like poetry on a page. When he looks at the sky like this, he feels the part of his parentage that connects him to the heavens. He gets it. This is Jupiter’s blessing--to feel at home on earth and in the sky.

Thinking about ‘home’ gets him thinking about Piper, and thinking about Piper gets him thinking about love, and from love to his unfortunate marriage, and from there to his curse.

_Until Jason Grace can prove he’s better off with someone else, the marriage stays._

A shadow distorts the triangle of light from the room behind him. “What are you doing out here?” Nico asks, ambling over to join him.

“Got tired of the Stolls’ jokes.”

“For a son of Jupiter, you’re an awful party pooper.”

For some reason, this rubs Jason the wrong way. “Ever hear of an introvert?”

Nico lets out a humorless laugh. “Yes, funnily enough, I have.”

Jason refuses to look at him. “So, you shadow-traveled to the Underworld when Hera came?”

He feels more than sees Nico nodding next to him. They’re standing so close, Jason facing the stars, and Nico, back to the railing, facing the abandoned ballroom. Knowing what had almost happened earlier, Jason should feel intensely nervous, but instead his head feels clearer than it’s ever been.

“Yeah. My father had already gone back.”

“He didn’t want to stay for the reception?”

“There’s too much light. And dancing.”

“Oh.”

Nico exhales slowly, like he’s debating whether or not to say something. “He’s been alone in the darkness for so long, social interaction has become both difficult and exhausting.”

“ _Really_?” Jason asks, because the thought of Hades as weak in any way throws him.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Do you ever say anything else?” Nico asks. When Jason jerks his head to look at him, a sharp retort dies on his lips as he watches the boy smile softly.

Mulling over that thought brings him abruptly out of the haze. “Sometimes I forget you’re actually twenty-two.”

“Must be pretty hard to remember, what with all the drinking,” Nico jokes.

“No, I meant--I think you’re younger than you are, sometimes,” Jason pauses to think on what he just said. He shakes himself. “Anyway, how come you’re not--not tipsy anymore?”

Nico shrugs, and Jason detects a bitter edge to the motion. “The Underworld always sobers me up.”

“That’s…” he watches Nico’s pale face conceal an emotion Jason can’t identify. “Well, it’s depressing.”

“For some.”

“You don't have to defend the Underworld to me, Nico. I know it's your home too," he says, and he's kinda impressed at his own emotional acuity for once.

Nico scowls, and for the second time that night, Nico’s form disintegrates in an undulating cloud of darkness, leaving Jason to wonder what he did wrong.

oOo

_November 23, 2018_

Jason is not a morning person. On a normal day, he wakes up around nine, goes for a run in the already strong midday sun, showers, and then heads to his first class. He can’t be arsed to rise with the sun or any of that bullshit. He’s not an Apollo kid.

But Leo’s in New Rome, and that means Jason’s circadian rhythm is going tits up soon, whether he likes it or not.

Jason dreams of chocolate eyes and tangled hair, soft smiles and petrichor. He hears his heart thumping, louder and louder, and--wait, that’s not his heart, it’s--

Is that the door?

Bloodshot blue eyes meet wide brown eyes when Jason answers. “Leo, what’s wrong? Is everything--”

“I’m fine, _amigo_ , but are you?” Leo says rapidly, grabbing his friend’s bicep. “There are bats _everywhere_!”

Jason blinks, glancing behind him at his peaceful, empty flat. “You’d better come inside.”

Leo complies, muttering in broken Spanish. He sits on the couch, looking very small with his arms hugging his legs protectively to his chest. “I’m so tired, holy hell.”

Jason settles next to him, debating wrapping an arm around his friend. “When was the last time you slept? Like, in a bed, not on a lab bench.”

Leo shrugs. “Dunno, night before the wedding? Annabeth and I have been busy designing a new defense alert system. It uses infrasound to detect and diagnose changes in vibration near the borders of the camp, and it’s a bitch to calibrate, even as far as you guys are from the city.”

“Can’t Terminus do that?”

Leo grins. “Terminus, the old bastard, is retiring.”

“He’s--what?”

“Retiring.”

“I didn’t know gods could do that,” Jason says.

Leo shrugs, posture relaxing as he talks to Jason. “I didn’t know there were things gods _couldn’t_ do.”

“True,” he agrees. “Um, Leo, do you happen to know what time it is?”

“No, why?”

“It’s 3 am.”

Leo bobs his head like _yeah, and?_

“Whatever.”

“Anyway, dude--I have this really cool idea about your, uh, problem. Annabeth and I’ve been talking, and we have a plan. It’ll be great! Well, after we sort out the bats, obviously, because, well, because--bats, I guess.”

Jason sighs heavily. “Okay, Leo, I’ll make you a deal: you sleep here until ten a.m. tomorrow, no earlier, and I’ll hear this plan. Tomorrow morning.”

Leo grimaces. “That’s really late, dude. Einstein only slept two hours a year or something.”

Jason frowns. Leo has a habit of pretending he’s some sort of machine, one of his bronze automatons, that doesn’t need food, sleep, water, anything--just a cursory tune-up once a year. “Leo…”

The stubborn look in his friend’s eyes softens immediately. “Jason, you shouldn’t worry so much. I’m fine,” he says, spreading his arms. “I eat when I’m hungry. I sleep when I’m tired. I’m the picture of productivity.”

Jason waits.

“Fine. Deal. I’ll sleep,” grumbles Leo after exactly six seconds (a new record!). “Only if I get to sleep in _your_ bed.”

“You can’t put conditions on conditions, Leo,” Jason laughs. “and I’m a married man, remember?”

Leo punches his arm lightly. “You take the couch, then. Surrender your comfort for the honor of the virgin lady.” He gestures at himself and then wiggles his hips.

Jason purses his lips in mock disapproval. “Then this virgin lady should hardly be sleeping in the house of a man without her chastity belt, should she?”

“Actually, that’s a misconception: chastity belts were uncommon and used to prevent young _boys_ from masturbating in the Middle Ages.”

“You would know that,” Jason teases.

Leo stands and stretches nonchalantly. “We’ll share. It’ll keep the nightmares away.”

“You still get those?”

“Don’t you?”

“Well, yeah,  but--” Jason looks at his hands. “I’d hoped that everyone else…”

Leo laughs drily. “If only.”

Jason decides that night he loves Leo Valdez, and even if it isn’t romantically, it should be enough for Hera. He doesn’t need a lover to be loved, and he doesn’t need to get married to have a family.

Leo takes half an hour to brush his teeth and get settled under the sheets; he’s so exhausted Jason can’t make him move faster, no matter how he chivies. They face each other, Jason already falling back into sleep’s embrace, Leo’s amber eyes wide open.

“Jason.”

He jolts awake from a light doze, eyelids heavy. “Wha?”

“I never apologized for disappearing. After the war.”

Oh, Jason’s awake now. Leo’s right. He hadn’t apologized--or come back. It was two years after the war that Travis and Connor Stoll found the son of Hephaestus at a cafe in Paris. Jason grits his teeth just thinking about it.

Leo gulps. It’s especially loud in the heavy darkness. “I should tell you what happened.”

“I can guess,”

“Yeah--you--” Leo’s voice cracks. “Calypso is dead.”

Jason sits up and bends over Leo. “ _What?_ ”

He swallows, strangled by the lump in his throat. The next time he speaks, his voice is shaking with anger. “They were angry I freed her.”

“Who?” This time, Jason really can guess.

“The gods.”

Jason nods, unsure.

“It’s not a huge deal. Or - well, it is, but it’s also been two years. I’m not telling you this so you can worry about me. I’m dealing with it - with the loss. I sometimes wonder if it isn’t what she would have wanted after all that time she spent alive and alone.”

“But it doesn’t excuse what Olympus did, does it?” Jason asks, voice soft. He’s fiercely proud of Leo - it takes a lot to get over losing someone like that, especially alone. He doesn’t blame him for taking some time for himself after it happened.

“I _hate_ them!” Leo shouts suddenly. He turns away from Jason, yanking the covers to his chin. “They _take_ and _take_ and never think about the consequences of their actions.”

“I know,” Jason says bitterly. “They are, like, the _worst_ parents _ever._ ”

Leo whips around to face him in bed, mouth ajar. “You--” his mouth moves silently. He’s making this odd sound, a strangled whine, and Jason’s worried he’s choking, or worse _crying_ , when he realizes Leo’s giggling. “You got that right, my man. Worst parents _ever_ . Hera’s not even your mom and she’s basically forcing you to marry _Percy_ , which, dude, I am _dying_ over. I can’t believe you two actually got _married._ Do you still have the ring?”

Jason smirks, letting Leo change the subject. “Actually, yes. I’ve been wearing it so people stop hitting on me in public. It’s actually the best thing to come out of this whole fiasco.”

Leo’s eyes bug out of his head. “Are you seriously telling me that so many ladies flirt with you on a daily basis that you need to appear married in order to feel comfortable in public? Are you serious? You’re _that_ attractive to the opposite sex? And you’re _complaining to me about it?_ ”

Jason’s grinning now, and he knows Leo’s like five seconds away from smacking him. “It’s not just women, actually…”

“Oh my god, _now_ I can see the resemblance between you and Jupiter, dude. You’re both, like, conceited sex-on-legs. _Gods_ , how are we friends?” He shakes his head, fingers at his temples.

Jason kicks his shin gently. “Because I keep you from killing yourself on accident… like every day?”

Leo huffs and faces away from him again. “Whatever, you big beautiful bitch - just be my big spoon tonight, will you? Leo needs cuddles.”

Jason obliges, curling an arm around Leo and yanking him close. “You’re the cuddliest straight guy I know,” he murmurs through a smile.

Leo stiffens. “Oh, well. I mean. During those two years we were talking about? I kinda. Well.” He takes a shuddering inhale. “I kinda figured out I’m not straight. I’m more like. Um. Pansexual?”

Jason nods. “You know? I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual.”

Leo relaxes just a little. “Really? So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? You think ‘cause you like boys I wouldn’t let you be little spoon?”

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” Leo says, leaning back into Jason. “Dumbass.”

“Just sleep, Leo - it’s 3 am.”

“Time is a social construct,” Leo mumbles, but they fall asleep soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished writing chapter 3, and i just feel like the story needs an epilogue too. Stay tuned!


	3. The Minor Fall

Jason wakes to muffled conversation, Leo’s side of the bed empty but still warm. He frowns, rubbing his eyes, and checks his bedside clock. 10:07 am.

He fell asleep with Leo last night in a t-shirt and pajama pants - something they both agreed on the night before to keep morning wood awkwardness to a minimum. They’re both young, healthy dudes, what’s a few fully clothed boners between friends? 

Rubbing his head, Jason pads toward the kitchen - but stops in the hallway when he recognizes the voices talking. What the _hell and_ _fuck_ is Nico doing here?

“Look, I’m sorry to interrupt your lazy morning in,” he hears Nico say, “but I just came by to let Jason know that I was planning to stay in New Rome for a while, to help Hazel and Frank move in together… and stuff.”

“Morning in?” Leo laughs then. “Oh, man. You don’t think me and Jason are  _ sleeping together _ , do you?” 

“Isn’t that  _ literally _ what you were doing when I saw you  _ in bed together _ ?”

“Yeah, I mean,” Leo sounds sheepish now. “It’s just a comfort thing. Just guys being dudes. We’re seriously not a thing beyond, like, besties. Sometimes I get nightmares, you know. Jason helps.”

“Well, yeah, we all get nightmares, Leo. Not all of us are Jason’s little spoon too.”

“Not for lack of trying, I’m sure,” Leo says, and Jason can hear him start fiddling with his coffee maker. Shit, if he doesn’t stop eavesdropping and get in there, his coffee-maker will be sentient and angry in, like, five minutes. “You think I haven’t seen you flirt with him?” 

Wait,  _ what? _

“Wait, what?” Nico says, indignant. “I have  _ not _ been flirting with him!”

“Dude, you almost kissed him at the wedding. Don’t think I wasn’t watching you!”

“Why were you  _ watching _ us!?” Nico cries.

“He’s my  _ best friend,  _ Nico!” Leo practically shouts. He lowers his voice, probably worried he’ll wake Jason (ha, too late). “I think you’d be good for him, but not while you two keep dancing around each other. Jason is actually the best person I know. Don’t jerk him around.”

Jason’s not ashamed to say he actually teared up a bit at that. Leo might be extremely weird, and have an awful sleeping schedule, and  _ yeah,  _ he disappeared for two whole years without a trace, but. Leo’s his fucking best friend, and  _ Zeus almighty _ , he loves him  _ so _ much. 

He can also hear his lovely Keurig beeping erratically, though - so it’s about time he made his presence known. 

He takes intentionally heavy steps and calls out “Morning, Leo!” so it’s obvious he just woke up and wasn’t  _ eavesdropping _ or anything.

When he enters the kitchen Leo’s staring at his Keurig with an odd expression on his face. He turns to look at Jason and grins wickedly. “Hey, how long you been eavesdropping?”

Nico goes beet red, and Jason feels his face warm up immediately. “Fuck you, Leo.” How did he always know when Jason was trying to hide something? “Just fix my Keurig.”

Leo leans against the counter and considers the two idiots in front of him before shrugging and unplugging the Keurig from the wall. “Sure,” he says, hefting it and walking toward the living room. “I’ll just fix it in here, with my earbuds in.” He disappears around the corner before saying, “You still want it to make coffee, right?”

“ _ Yes _ , you little shit!” Jason yells. “Stop touching my stuff!” He turns to Nico, who’s still frozen and clearly considering just teleporting out of Jason’s apartment. “Do you _ ,  _ uh, want anything to drink?” he asks weakly.

“Not coffee, though,” Nico says roughly. 

Jason rubs his neck. “I have orange juice? And there’s like, water… of the tap variety...”

“Jesus  _ Christ _ , you  _ idiots _ , talk about your  _ feelings _ , not  _ BEVERAGES! _ ” Leo shouts from the other room. “Do not make me come in there!” 

“Put your earbuds in, you little gremlin!” Nico shouts back.

Jason sits down at his kitchen table and sighs. “Nico, I -”

“Stop,” Nico holds up a hand. “How much did you hear?”

Jason watches Nico’s pale hands fidget on the counter in front of him. It doesn’t escape his notice that Nico’s keeping the island between the two of them, like he’s worried Jason might rush at him or something. “Starting from when you assumed me and Leo were dating, which, for the record? Is  _ ridiculous _ .”

Nico scoffs. “You were spooning and bundled up in the comforter. It would have been  _ adorable _ , if it hadn’t made me so  _ jealous _ .”

_ Oh _ , okay, they’re really doing this. Okay. “What if I told you that I kinda wish you were in my bed all the time? Or that… I can’t stop thinking about the wedding. When we almost kissed.”

Nico smiles gently. “I wouldn’t be very surprised,  _ Thor _ .” 

Jason rises from his chair and walks slowly toward Nico. He stops when his face is only inches away from Nico’s, and  _ damn _ the kid is  _ short _ , and it’s kinda adorable?

“Careful, Jason,” Nico breathes, “aren’t you married to someone else?”

Jason gently guides Nico toward him with a hand on his elbow. “Can I kiss you? Or will you stab me?” he says, eyes dropping to pink lips.

“No promises,” he replies, and then they’re  _ kissing _ and Jason doesn’t know who made the first move but it’s  _ amazing,  _ and nothing like kissing Piper. Somehow his arms wrap around Nico, one hand tangling in black hair and the other tightening around his waist, and he’s slumped against the kitchen island with Nico half on top of him and he cannot even remember what day it is, he’s so  _ hard _ .

Nico draws back first, breathing hard. “Oh  _ fuck _ , why are you so  _ hot _ ?” he pants. His hands run down Jason’s shirt, over his pecs and catching on his firm stomach. He flexes just to make Nico roll his eyes at him. “You’re such a fuckboy,” he says, laughing. He’s looking at Jason like world peace matters less than standing in each other’s personal space, and Jason kind of agrees.

Jason skims his fingers over Nico’s waist before bringing his hand up to cup his jaw. “Do you wanna get lunch?”

“Like a date?” Nico says, and he’s half-joking but definitely nervous.

Jason kisses him again because he can’t help it. “That’s the idea, yeah,” he says into Nico’s mouth, and then Nico’s laughing a  _ yes, please _ back and they get carried away all over again.

They jump apart when they hear a knock at the door. 

“Hi, Jason, Nico, sorry to interrupt - fixed the Keurig… please don’t have sex in the kitchen, I eat here so much,” Leo says, hands over his eyes. 

“Leo, you can open your eyes. We’re not naked.” Nico rolls his eyes.

He heaves a huge sigh and drops his hand from his face, eyes darting between Nico and Jason. “But you  _ are _ dating now, right? This is awesome! Now Hera can let you get divorced!”

Jason winces. “Dude, you make it sound like I’m using Nico to get divorced.” And what the hell  _ is _ his life, honestly?

“I know you’re not,” Nico says, pressing himself into Jason’s side. “But I’d like to get you single again too.” 

Jason wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses the top of his head with an obnoxious  _ smack! _ “Oh, you do, do you? What’s got you so confident?”

Leo snorts. “Uh, maybe the moony eyes you make at him every time breathes? Or when you got jealous of Will Solace when he was flirting with Nico at Camp like a month ago? Or when you give Nico compliments out of nowhere because you have a big gay crush on him? Does any of this sound familiar?”

Jason makes an indignant noise and turns to look at Nico, who’s hiding his smile in Jason’s chest. “You traitor,” he whines. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“I mean, it was kind of obvious,” Nico says. “I just didn’t realize it until I discovered I had a big gay crush on you too.”

“Oh, Hades, you two are disgusting,” Leo laughs. “Just get out of here, go on your date. I’ll get Percy to drop by with the divorce papers later.”

“What about Hera?” Nico asks.

Jason shrugs. “I don’t really know… I mean I’m assuming she’s always listening because she’s kinda creepy? But I also don’t know how to let her know that, like, me and Nico… I don’t know. There’s no rush though. It’s not like Nico and I can’t make out while we figure it out, right?”

Leo mock-gags. “Please get out. Please. My icy single heart is melting.”

oOo

_ November 30th, 2018 _

Jason’s sitting in his Calculus lecture daydreaming about Nico’s hands. He thought he’d get himself under control now that they’re  _ dating _ , but his obsession has really only gotten worse. The best--and worst--part is, they’re taking it  _ slow _ . They haven’t done anything crazier than two  _ very memorable _ steamy makeout sessions and a lot of hand holding. Mostly because they never really get any alone time… thanks to their respective temporary roommates.

Nico’s staying at Reyna’s house while he helps Hazel and Frank get settled in, and Leo’s been spending more and more time in Jason’s apartment (in the guest bedroom, so Nico doesn’t kill him). So the only  _ alone time _ they get is when Leo’s out for a while, because Jason would rather die than do anything dirty anywhere near Reyna’s living space. The thought of it makes him want to reach down and make sure she hasn’t cut off anything important. 

But pretty soon, Hazel and Frank are going to be settled in - he’s pretty sure their housewarming party is next Tuesday, actually - and Nico won’t be able to use them as an excuse to stay in the same town as Jason… so the time for putting a label on what they meant to one another was fast approaching. Jason feels… Well, he’s not in  _ love _ , which is kind of what Hera wanted - but he knows he could be. With Piper, he always assumed being with her was what love felt like. But with Nico? He feels  _ butterflies. _ It doesn’t feel like this relationship is a given, and even if he gets anxious that he’ll fuck it all up, he still loves the feeling of  _ not knowing what happens next _ . It’s like Nico’s making him work for it, just like he did with their friendship, and it’s just so fucking  _ nice _ . 

Tonight they’re getting dinner, and Jason is actually agonizing over where to take him. He  _ never _ did that with Piper. But Jason’s been doing his research--he’s made a Yelp account and he is reading all the reviews for a place before he even considers taking Nico there.

But still, his grade in Calc is tanking (why does math have letters now? And  _ greek _ letters too?), and he’s gotta start taking notes. Which is when his phone vibrates against his thigh. It could be anyone - but that means it could be  _ Nico _ , and so he has to pull it out and check.

_ Hey, Percy says he can drive up with the divorce papers this evening, is that okay? I know we had plans, but I want you to get divorced ASAP. -N _

He smiles the second he reads the message. Only Nico types like a grammatically correct grandpa - probably because that’s kind of… how old he is.

_ ya thats fine lol not like i had a hot date or anything  _

_ ;) ;)  _

He hits send, trying not to let a wayward blush creep up his neck. Flirting over text is hard, but at the same time it’s easier than saying stupid shit to Nico in person.

_ We can reschedule dinner, you big baby. -N _

_ hmmmm or we can just skip to dessert lmao haha jk yes pls!!!  _

_ want me to make you dinner? Percy too, i guess _

Jason glances back up at the blackboard and grimaces when he realizes he missed several key steps in solving… something. His phone buzzes again.

_ That sounds lovely. Thanks. -N _

_ np babe :) _

_ btw u know u don’t have to sign ur texts every time, right? i have your number in my contacts… _

His professor coughs, and Jason nearly shits himself thinking it’s directed at him. He slides his phone back into his pocket and commits himself to paying attention for the last twenty minutes of the lecture. He actually understands some of it, too. As he’s walking out of the lecture hall on his way to the cafe, he checks his phone.

_ Your suggestion has been taken into consideration. -N _

God,  _ this boy _ , he thinks, grinning like a dork. He’s going to woo the everloving _ shit _ out of Nico, and Hera can suck his entire dick.

oOo

Jason’s deciding between two different button up shirts ( _ what,  _ he wants to look nice whenever he sees Nico) when his buzzer goes off. It’s probably Nico, so he grabs the one he’s already unbuttoned and does it up till his neck before frowning at himself in the mirror and undoing the top one. He can’t tell if he looks sexy or like a douche, but the buzzer’s getting insistent so fuck it, he’s rolling with it.

He presses the button to let Nico in and unlocks his front door, walking back into the kitchen to check on his pasta. It’s almost al dente, so he pours the linguine into the strainer in his sink and then dumps the pasta into the from-scratch tomato sauce he whipped up before going to change his shirt. Cooking for himself was just one hobby he threw himself into after Piper left him - the satisfaction of following set steps to reach a certain conclusion appealed to him, gave him something to meditate on. Now he didn’t really need instructions, especially not for a recipe he made so often. The motions of mincing garlic, heating oil, and sautéing tomatoes were as familiar to him as unsheathing his sword. He’s gently slicing some fresh basil when he hears Nico open the door and call out his name. 

“I’m in the kitchen!” he responds, sweeping the tendrils into the sauce and stirring. “Hey, are you hungry?” he says when he hears Nico enter the kitchen.

Instead of answering, Nico steps behind him and wraps his arms around him, pressing his face into Jason’s shoulder blades. “That smells  _ so good _ , baby,” he sighs.

Jason’s face is on fire, and it’s not from the steam rising from the pot on the stove. “ _ Baby? _ ” he squeaks.

Nico slips off him and rests his hip on the counter to look at him. “Too much?”

Jason just grabs a plate and serves Nico some pasta, unable to meet his eyes. Is it actually possible to blush this much? Sometimes he wished his face wasn’t so pale and obvious.

Nico accepts the plate gratefully, going a bit cross-eyed as he smells the sauce. “I get it, you like it when I call you  _ baby. _ ”

“Just try it and tell me what you think, nerd,” Jason says, getting a plate for himself and handing Nico a fork. “I need an Italian’s opinion.”

He spins the fork in the sauce slowly before taking a mouthful. When it hits his tongue, he lets out a low groan. “Where did you learn to make this? Have you been to Italy?” he says around the food in his mouth. “It’s so good I want to cry.” Nico coughs a bit as he swallows. “It’s also very spicy.”

Jason winces. “Sorry, I forget not everyone likes their food to fight back.”

Nico sets his plate down on the island, taking Jason’s plate from him and setting it down beside his. He grabs Jason’s hands and places them on his lower back, embracing Jason tightly. Surprised, Jason’s hands rise up and hold him close. 

“It tastes like home,” Nico says into his shoulder. 

Jason has to duck his head and kiss him, he’s just so  _ sweet _ . Nico tastes like tomatoes and basil and it’s  _ perfect _ , like always - until the buzzer goes off again. 

“That must be Percy,” Jason sighs into Nico’s hair before stepping back. 

Nico’s eyelashes flutter like he has to shake himself out of the moment ( _ cute! _ ) and then he grins. “I’ve been meaning to ask you - I want to tell Percy about us, obviously, but I was wondering… do you want to mess with him a little?”

Jason smiles. “I like the way you think, honey,” he says, and this time it’s Nico’s turn to redden.

He’s about to tease him for it too, when Nico just grumbles, “Buzz him in, will you, asshole?”

So he does, but not before he kisses Nico’s cheek as obnoxiously as he can.

Seeing Percy again - for the first time since the wedding - is a little surreal. It’s only been, like, a week, but still - this is his  _ husband _ on Olympus. Even after signing the divorce papers, they’re still married - legally, actually, literally  _ Married _ on Olympus. Which, okay, that doesn’t really affect his personal life, but still. He is a Husband.  _ God _ , why is Hera like this?

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” Percy asks, smacking Jason’s butt as he walks in the door. “If I’d known you were such a talented house-husband, I wouldn’t have brought the divorce papers to dinner!”

Jason snorts when he notices Nico glaring at Percy. He’s so cute when he’s jealous! “It’s linguine in tomato sauce,” he tells Percy. “Nice to see you too, dude.”

Percy swoops in to give Nico an enthusiastic one-armed hug. “Hey, Nico! Whatcha doing here?”

Nico shoves him off, but he’s smiling. “Did you really think I’d let you two be in the same room without supervision?”

Jason laughs, but Nico’s comment makes him take a moment to self-examine. Does he feel that competitive, angry surge that Percy’s company always ignites in him? Nope - not at all. Why would that be? The only thing that’s changed since he saw Percy last was his relationship with Nico. 

Wait. Was he always so shitty to Percy because he was  _ jealous  _ that Percy was Nico’s first real crush on a guy? His thoughts are interrupted when Nico grabs his hand and pulls him into the kitchen while chatting pleasantly with Percy. 

“So what are you up to these days? Like… where are you going to college?” Nico asks. “I can’t believe I don’t know that.”

Percy waves his hand. “It’s alright; I actually just started my first semester at UC Berkeley! I’m a marine biology major.’

“Shit, dude, that’s awesome! That’s such a good school!”

Percy shrugs. “I mean, New Rome wouldn’t let me enroll because I didn’t serve long enough in their legion, so I had to pick a school in the surrounding area.”

Jason shakes his head. “Only you would try to play down getting into Berkeley, dude. I’m really proud of you.”

“Ah, well, thanks. The classes are hard as hell, but I found a professor that wants to take me on research diving trips sometimes. Isn’t that--” Jason tracks the exact moment Percy realizes he and Nico are still holding hands. “Um.”

Percy’s so confused that Jason takes pity on him and drops Nico’s hand to slip his hand around Nico’s waist instead, pulling him flush against his side. “What?” he asks innocently.

Percy’s dark face is reddening slowly. “Are you two… Is this....” Jason swears he can see the gears in his brain turning.

“ _ Jesus _ , Percy,” Nico groans, before turning in Jason’s embrace and kissing him lightly on the cheek. Jason notices he has to rise up on his toes to reach and almost dies of  _ cute _ right there.

“ _ Okay _ , fine, yes, I get it, you’re  _ dating! _ ” Percy says. “Nico, I would never have pegged you for a homewrecker. He’s a  _ married man!” _

“Not for long,” Jason says cheekily. “Do you want to eat dinner first, though?”

Percy nods frantically. “Yes, please!”

Jason moves to grab Percy a plate and serve him, but not before he brushes a hand over the nape of Nico’s neck. “Can you set our plates on the table for me?” he asks in a low voice. 

Nico nods, and  _ wait _ , is he blushing? Does he like it when Jason uses that voice? He files that  _ very _ interesting tidbit away for later and passes Percy’s plate to him. 

Jason can’t stop himself from slinging an arm around the back of Nico’s chair and touching his hand whenever his wineglass needs a refill ( _ yes,  _ he broke out a full bodied red for the evening. Wine tasting was another fixation he nurtured while he got over Piper). 

It feels good to relax and talk to his friends, honestly. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been over the past two months until his dumb ass got married and found a boyfriend in the space of a week. Maybe Thalia had been right - not about getting laid, but about how much he’d withdrawn into himself after Piper left him. Watching Nico burst out laughing and smack Percy’s arm over some joke he cracked, serving them both more linguine (because it was  _ that good _ , apparently?), made him feel like his comfortable,  _ empty _ apartment actually could be a  _ home _ .

All at once, he’s overwhelmed with the certainty that he  _ loves _ Percy, and he  _ loves _ Nico too - maybe not romantically, but Nico had been the first person he trusted enough to come out to. He loves their friendship, and he loves that he gets a shot at romance with him too. 

And he loves Leo, he thinks suddenly, because his stove has always been a bit troublesome, until Leo fixed it. And Annabeth, for encouraging him to enroll in college (and not being mad when he drunk married her boyfriend). And Hazel and Frank, for planning their wedding right when he was depressed enough about Piper to accidentally marry Percy and set all of this in motion. 

“Jason?” 

He starts. “Yeah?” he says, and he’s amazed at how raw his voice is.

Nico’s watching him like he’s a bit insane, which he kinda feels like he might be. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replies, and he actually means it this time.

“You ready to sign, dude?” Percy asks, gesturing to the papers on the table. 

Jason grins. “Where’s the pen?”

Percy smiles at him, holding his gaze as he hands him a blue gel pen. It’s so  _ Percy _ that he snorts, but he uncaps it anyway and reaches toward the first page.

“Wait.” he hears in a woman’s voice behind him.

All three of them whip around. Percy uncaps Riptide and Nico produces his Stygian iron blade in a  _ whoosh _ of shadow. Jason’s left his sword in his bedroom, so he lifts his fork and tries to look threatening.

Hera’s standing in his kitchen, unamused as she watches a drop of tomato sauce fall from the fork onto the hardwood floor. “You’re annulling the marriage?”

Nico sheaths his blade, scoffing. “Of course he is, he’s not in  _ love  _ with Percy.”

Hera sneers. “He’s not in love with  _ you _ , either.”

Jason hates that Nico flinches. “Look, Hera, I’ve only been dating him for a week. It’s been a fantastic week, but that’s not enough time to fall in love with a person.” 

Nico looks at him with a small smile on his face. “Fantastic?”

Hera scowls. “So?”

“ _ So _ , just because I’m not  _ in love _ with him doesn’t mean I don’t  _ love _ him. I love Nico because he’s a good friend to me - and I love Percy for that too.” It unnerves him that Hera’s face has gone so blank, but he keeps going. “I love all my friends, and I know they love me too. I just couldn’t see it because I spent so much time alone after--after Piper.”

Hera waits.

“I just -- I don’t understand why you’re obsessed with meddling in my love life when I’ve  _ already _ got plenty of  _ love _ in my life.” Jason’s kinda terrified she’s going to kill him for his insolence, but he’s also proud of himself for saying what needed to be said. And he’s especially proud for realizing what an idiot he’s been this whole time, so he promises himself that if he gets out of this alive, he’s going to hang out with his friends more. And he’s going to adopt a kitten.

It’s a subtle change, at first - Hera’s dress becomes less corporeal, more of a suggestion of a ball gown--or a cocktail dress--than the white tunic it was before. Before long, her form, once stern and maternal, softens into a stunningly beautiful young woman whose eyes remind him quite suddenly of  _ Piper _ .

“Venus?” he breathes.

“I’m so proud of you,” she says, her voice low and musical.

“Wait, what?” Percy says, capping Riptide and shaking his head. 

She laughs, and it’s like tinkling bells. “I’m sorry to have tricked you, boys,” she says, smiling warmly. “But you were never married at all.” The papers dissolve, and Jason feels the ring in his back pocket disappear. From the expression on Percy’s face, he assumes the same for the other ring.

“After my daughter joined the Hunters, I watched as Jason spent most of his time alone. Of course, I knew I could fix it just by sending someone pretty his way,” she pauses, glancing pointedly at Nico. “But you impressed me when you threw yourself into all your new hobbies - I admire people who have the strength to pull themselves out of a broken heart. So I thought I’d show you a different lesson - that what you thought you lost when Piper left, you had the whole time.”

“You couldn’t have just sent him a note?” Nico says through gritted teeth. “Instead of manipulating him?

Venus smirks. “If you’re worried I made him fall for you, you can rest assured I did nothing but give him conjured rings and yell at him at the wedding in the guise of Hera. Everything else is all Jason,” she says. “I would argue I was far less invasive than the  _ real _ Hera would have been.”

Jason’s trying to be furious with Venus, like he knows Nico and Percy probably are, but he can’t find it in himself to hate her for trying to make him feel better after her daughter broke up with him.  _ Sure _ , it’s kinda  _ weird _ , but maybe -- maybe not every Olympian is a terrible parent after all.

When he looks up at her again, she’s smiling like she knows exactly what he’s thinking -- she probably does.

“Anyways, I’m a busy lady. I’ve got a few more projects in New Rome to wrap up, so I’ll leave you three to dinner. Nico--I hope this makes up for what my son said to you in some way.” She reaches out and pats Nico’s shoulder before smoothing his hair back and kissing his forehead. “Hopefully, you never see me again.” She laughs, ruffling his hair. 

And then she’s gone.


	4. The Major Lift (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It may be short but it's well past time that the boys got their happy ending. It just felt complete to me, yknow?

_ January 11th, 2019 _

It’s been a long battle, but Jason can finally say - six weeks later - that he’s won. He grimaces, remembering the paperwork, passive-aggressive voicemail messages, and the hundred bucks added to his monthly rent. It was not easy, but finally,  _ finally _ , he has permission from his landlord to keep a kitten in his apartment.

He’s given a lot of thought as to what sort of kitten he wants to adopt - or if he even wants a kitten; he hears adult cats are often great options too - but he’s still banking on walking into an adoption center, looking a cat in the eye, and knowing it’s the one. It’s why he’s refused to visit a center until he had permission to adopt - because no matter how much Nico teases him, eyes bright and soft, Jason knows he couldn’t resist adopting the perfect cat on the spot. 

He has yet to tell Nico that he’d won the battle against his landlord, but considering Nico’s probably planning on dropping by after his shift at the bakery is over, he doesn’t feel the need to text him just yet. He smiles at the image of Nico kneading dough in the back room, hair curling with sweat and forearms dusty with flour. Jason remembers the day Nico told him he was going to stay in New Rome indefinitely - Nico’s cheeks flushing when he told Jason where he’d decided to work, like Jason wouldn’t be immensely proud of Nico for acing his interview or already planning on how to scam his boyfriend out of freshly baked pastries - or the recipes, at least, Nico,  _ please _ . 

The thought of fresh baked goods has him on a tangent, and he’s cracking eggs into a mixing bowl and whipping up some brownies before he can stop himself. When he slides them into his (newly-refurbished, thank you Leo) oven to bake, his buzzer goes off. He checks the clock - two-fifteen - Nico’s right on time. He lets him in, and slips off his apron (It says “kiss the cook” - a gag gift from Percy that he’ll never admit to loving). 

Nico bursts into the kitchen, grinning happily. The smell of caramelized sugar and sour cherries follows him in. 

Jason chuckles when he spots powdered sugar on Nico’s nose, reaching for him to kiss it off. “Hi,” he says when Nico wrinkles his nose with disgust and pushes him away.

“You could warn me before licking my face, you golden retriever of a man,” Nico grumbles, but he’s hiding a smile that tells Jason what he already knows: Nico  _ lives  _ for silly, cheesy moments like this. He looks around the kitchen, at the mixing bowl with stripes of brownie batter still inside, and narrows his eyes. “Are you baking brownies?” he asks.

Jason grins. “Yeah, in the pan you like.”

“The one that makes every piece an edge piece?” Nico says, excited. “So you finally agree that edge pieces are better than center pieces?”

Jason shakes his head. “Nope. Center pieces are soft and delicious. But I know you like the weird chewy edge pieces, so.” He shrugs. “I made a sacrifice.”

Nico bites his lip over a softer smile before jumping into Jason’s arms and hugging him. “You’re wrong, but I’ll let it go because I love you.” 

_ Whoa _ ,  _ they’ve never said that before.  _

Jason’s chest constricts and his hands automatically settle on Nico’s face before yanking him in for a kiss. Nico’s giggling, giddy, and Jason feels like maybe he could cry, if he wasn’t so busy kissing the life out of Nico. Eventually, he breaks the kiss. “I know,” he croaks, cracking what he hopes is a rascally grin but he suspects he just looks like he’s been hit in the head by the best possible outcome of his life.

“Shut up and kiss me, Han,” Nico mumbles against his lips, and Jason can tell he’s getting choked up too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author would like to make it clear she loves edge pieces, and center pieces can get fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that took a whole bloody year to finish. I'm genuinely terrible.
> 
> by the way, talk to me on tumblr!  
> [kylo-jenner](http://kylo-jenner.tumblr.com/)


End file.
